Steady.

After searching for balance, order, and rhythm this past year - I still forget this. 

When I'm trying to...
make the "most perfect, fun day" for my kids, or
when I try to force the right lyrics to music, or
that moment I feel "so not connected" because I haven't made an effort to leave the house all week. or
making myself sit in quiet and all I can think about is how much laundry I have to do, or
expecting another Sunday service to give me some kind of sacred experience.

I think I can find that happiness I'm searching for, if I just...
trying harder,
force words,
expect relationships to just happen,
work faster, or
expect to manage this mysterious God in one hour, in one room. 

But none of it works that way, does it?! 

So tonight, on this rainy Good Friday (something feels very right about that) -
may you
give yourself a break, stop trying to make the "perfect" thing happen.
Believe that tomorrow is new, that grace is already in it and you already have enough to make it through.
Allow yourself the gift of order and rhythm,
know that it isn't about how intense something has to be to feel real -
but it is about how vulnerable you dare to be in real situations.
In that, may you find your truth -
and happiness will come.

Blessings.

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